Make You Mine
by iheartShules
Summary: John is lovelorn. ::Rated T:: Careese, because that's how I roll.
1. Chapter 1

_**AN:**_ _ **I have no chill with Carter and Reese. I wanted to try something a little different with this story. It takes place during 3x3 with a twist. Poor POIverse tends to get twisted when I write.  
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 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own anything, like normal *pouts***_

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John stared at Joss. He couldn't help it. He was having a harder time at viewing her as just a friend. He wasn't entirely sure when the metamorphosis happened, but one night Joss was just a friend and then the next morning; he realized she was something more. It happened over the summer after she had been busted down to officer for a clean shoot. At first he had figured he was feeling slightly different towards her because he felt guilty. He had been wrapped up in trying to keep the machine from falling into the wrong hands and finding Finch that he hadn't known she was in trouble. He prided himself on taking care of her, of always being there for her. He didn't take his vow of not letting her being alone anymore lightly. And he failed her that day. Joss didn't seem to see it that way but she had a poor habit of seeing the good in him where he didn't deserve it.

So he tried to make it up to her when he saw her down and depressed, especially after working overnight shifts. She hated them, feeling like she was as she claimed to him once: a vampire. But to him she'd make a desirable vampire and he wouldn't mind her sucking on his neck…or anything else for that matter. The moment that scandalous and pure carnal thought had tore through him, he had sat up straight on her couch feeling his body respond to the mere thought, and she asked him what was wrong. He had given her a lame excuse. There was no way in hell he could tell her the truth. It had been his first clue of many that his feelings towards Joss had shifted from purely platonic to something more.

Then he had started going over to her place more and more, trying to pretend it was just to cheer her up but in truth it was more than that. He wanted to spend his time with her, wanted her to share stories with him, and share stories with her in return. He wanted to take her food to find out her preferences so he could bring the ones she really enjoyed again and again. John had learned early on that Joss loved Thai, red wine, and had a weakness for chocolate…just like him. She wanted to know where he got the desserts for her. It was a trade secret that he didn't share with many people and maybe eventually he'd let Joss in on it that he baked them for her. He didn't share the fact that he knew how to cook and bake with anyone. John didn't see it as a conversation point. His mother taught him the wonders of cooking and baking. He loved it. And if he hadn't loved the Army he probably would have went to culinary school after he served his court-ordered boot-camp for that assault. It was the only thing he had been actually good at besides taking orders.

John watched Joss and as she stood in front of him unassumingly in that form-fitting brown and red leather dress; Joss was the sexiest woman he ever saw in his life. She had soft curls in her hair, making his fingers itch with the burning desire to slide through her hair. Her bright red lipstick decorating her full lips beckoned his. Beckoned his to press onto them warmly, before he sucked on them, and then urge them to part to let his tongue slide in her warm mouth and find out how she tasted. It was that question that kept him up at night sometimes. John sighed as he tried to tear his stationary gaze off her tempting lips.

He had to come to terms just recently with the blatant fact that he was deeply attracted to Joss; physically, sexually, and emotionally. She was everything to him and if he'd just let himself he could fall hopelessly in love with her if he wasn't already. And he had been trying to put out feelers to see if she shared even a little of the same feelings as him, not wanting to lose what he did have with her, with their friendship, but he was being too indirect. He thought he saw a blush on her face when he told her she looked badass in her uniform but she turned it around on him and merely said that his 'uniform' was the same except for the mask was new. It hadn't been the reaction he wanted. But partly he was to blame; he should have said she looked hot, but he didn't want to make her uncomfortable if she didn't feel the same way about him. Maybe he should try flirting with her. However flirting wasn't one his strong suits and he didn't have many friends he could ask for help. Asking Finch would embarrass them both, asking Fusco would lead to nothing but annoying comments, and Shaw barely knew how to be a person.

He forced his unrelenting gaze off the object of his affection to finally take notice that Zoe stood next to her, who paled in comparison, as they listened to Finch speak about what they needed from them. It wasn't quite fair to Zoe to compare her to Joss as they were polar opposites. Zoe did things that pleased _her_ while Joss did things that pleased others. If someone needed it, Joss would give them the shirt off her back to help them out. John didn't meet many people like that and Joss had shown that innate generosity the first time they met. It was why the idea of taking that walk on the Brooklyn Bridge held no appeal anymore. She restored his faith in humanity in those precious few minutes he had talked with her before Finch sprung him. She saved him simply by being who she was.

John eyed Zoe sharply as she held up the taser with it going to bring attention to her as Joss and Shaw talked guns. He narrowed his eyes on Zoe who had to throw it out there that he purchased it for her. And he had but he hadn't meant to get pink but it was the only color left at the convenience store near where he called Zoe to meet him to ask her for her help on the case. He had bought it on a whim because he knew Zoe preferred to not carry a weapon, so coloring it as a gift wasn't entirely true, and left John a little irritated that she made it sound as if he gifted her something special. This was the second time she had been possessive of them, of him, in front of Joss. It was the last time too.

John shifted his focus back onto Joss as he caught sight of her moving toward him. His eyes slid down her curvy body in that form-fitting leather dress that showed off how well she took care of herself. Not to mention she had some sexy legs too. Too bad he couldn't get a look from behind…Joss had a nice behind and he could almost imagine how her ass looked in this dress. He licked his lips in anticipation as he was determined to find out. His eyes flitted up her body pausing to caress her full and firm looking breasts. He could nearly feel them in his palms as he tested their weight while he played with her nipples, imagining how they'd pucker against his fingers. Or his tongue as he licked and sucked on them and wondered if she would moan loudly or softly. He bet Joss was quiet but would get louder as the pleasure spiraled out of her control. He would love to make Joss lose control.

He forcefully stopped those titillating thoughts because he would cause himself a source of embarrassment that surely Shaw would be the first to see and then proceed to comment on. Finch would become uncomfortable, then Zoe would think his hard on was for her, and Joss would pretend she didn't notice. Even though she was the reason he couldn't settle himself down.

John looked up and saw her staring at him, having at some point stopped moving as she realized he had been staring at her body. He should feel mortified at being caught devouring her beautiful sight but he wasn't. Couldn't. He was man looking at a beautiful woman. If she could only hear his thoughts about how he wished to spread her legs and pleasure her until she was coming apart again and again, then he might feel embarrassed. But that was a big maybe, only if she didn't share the same feelings.

He smiled as her eyes dropped the contact first as she finished moving to the couch and sat down gracefully. John inhaled deeply as her sweet Jasmin scent filled his nose. She did smell so good. She always did. And her hair would sometimes smell of lavender too. A couple nights ago he had let himself into her place waiting for her to come home so he could surprise her with Thai and wine, he had let himself wander upstairs. He had tried to resist entering her bedroom. That was her sanctuary but more than that, John didn't think he could handle seeing her bed and then having the mental image of her resting in it. He hadn't fared well as he entered her bedroom seeing the queen-sized mattress lined with a feminine comforter. John had easily pictured her between the sheets, with him on top of her, and he had forced himself out and into her adjoining bathroom. He had found her shampoo, body wash, perfume, and lotions in there. The perfume she only had Jasmin. Her shampoos ranged from floral to citrus scents. He liked that she enjoyed variety.

John saw her sitting in front of him and he approached quietly and looked down. She was downloading the Angular app but his eyes zeroed in on her cleavage and groaned inwardly. He rested his hands on the back of the couch and decided to try again to put out some feelers to see if she was even halfway as attracted to him as he was to her. She stiffened just minimally as he leaned down and rested his mouth near her ear.

"You look beautiful in that dress, Joss," he whispered, not wishing to draw attention from the others in the room. To him, Joss was the only one that mattered.

After a moment she murmured a soft spoken 'thank you' before she leaned her head back so she could meet his eyes. And John stared. He would have dipped his head down to close the small gap between their lips just to taste hers gently, but she shot off the couch. John blinked in surprise watching as she turned to look at him as her breath seemed to come out fast.

He smiled slowly feeling it tilt his mouth upwards all the way. John watched her and her eyes narrowed on him and his smile remained in place. He had no idea what she was thinking, but she was truly breathtaking as she stood before him. He slowly straightened, still staring at her, and continued to do so, just basking in the fact that she wasn't immune to him.

John turned and addressed Shaw who was angrily telling Finch that she looked good. His eyes slid onto Joss for a brief moment.

Maybe he should try a more direct approach to find out if she thought of him as more than a friend.

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AN: Poor John. All he wants is Joss :)

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Joss relaxed in the club _Blur_ while they waited for Ian Murphy, their quarry, to show. They had arrived about a half hour early to sit, talk, and hang out, just the three ladies. Shaw looked ready to shoot someone, Zoe looked amused, and she was a little stiff. She just couldn't relax not with Murphy supposed to show his face at any moment. But she had taken up Zoe's suggestion of having a drink and dancing. It was fun to have a girls' night out of sorts. It took her mind off things; but while she shared little in common with Shaw and Zoe, she couldn't help but find she was still tense. She would have more fun if was just her and John and they went to a bar shared some beers, talked, and she let him win a game or two of pool.

John, the man that earlier had been looking at her like she was the only woman in the world even with Zoe Morgan standing like two feet away. And that wasn't the first time she had thought he was looking at her differently, the first time was when she thought he was flirting with her was when he saw her in the uniform. His 'you're looking badass' comment had made her wonder if that was John's way of telling her she looked hot to him. John wasn't a conventional man and she figured that his way of flirting was an extension of his unorthodox ways. She had blushed from the compliment because of the lengthy once over that was given along with the flirtatious statement. But she chalked it up to his first time seeing her in her uniform and a lot of men had a secret fetish about ladies in uniform. She figured John was just a typical man and it wasn't truly about her, rather the uniform.

And when Finch had hinted this afternoon at needing her to wear a sexy dress, which he was adorable in his feeble attempt at asking, she had gone out and bought a new one. Not that she needed one, she had a few sexy dresses in her closet. But she needed the pick me up. The moment she entered the high-end department store and saw the leather dress on the rack it practically screamed: buy me, at her. Judging by John's appreciative gaze it hit the sexy factor. She liked feeling like a woman in front of him rather than just his friend. Typically when she hung out with John she had been in pantsuits or more recently dressed down in jeans or leggings. She never got to wear anything quite so revealing and sexy in front of him. And she enjoyed putting that wowed look on his face when he saw her in the tight leather dress. She had wondered again if it was because of her or because of the dress but she knew that it had to be the dress not her.

But that didn't mean Joss didn't wonder if it was _her_ that he found desirable, but then that made her wonder why she wondered if John found her sexy in an uniform. It would give her a headache and she forced herself to stop thinking such thoughts because they were dangerous.

" _Ian Murphy's here_ ," Zoe said over the connection as they had all split up. Zoe was still on the dance floor with other men and women, Shaw was mingling with her drink, and Joss had remained seated at the booth. They didn't want Ian to feel self-conscious or overwhelmed with three women sitting altogether. Some men needed to be one on one with a woman.

Joss blinked when a man sat down with her but it wasn't the man she was expecting. "John? John, what are you doing?" she demanded, incredulous, as he scooted over to sit impossibly close to her, most likely so he could hear her over the music but still, it was entirely too close for comfort. Because their hips brushed while he slung an arm around the back of the booth behind her head, body angled towards hers, and his other lied on the table in front of her as he engulfed her. "Ian is here," she said weakly because she didn't really care about Ian Murphy at this particular moment. John looked good under the dim lights that were casting shadows across his ruggedly handsome face adding to the allure, along with the way his suit blazer parted to show off his lean body.

"I know he is but you looked tense," he murmured in her ear. She stared at him in surprise as the music blared but it was deafened as they sat together cocooned in their own little world. How would he know how she looked if he was supposed to remain outside unless he came in when he spotted Ian from outside? John reached over and took her glass from her and drank from her cocktail keeping his gaze steady on hers.

" _You have got to be kidding me, I knew that there is something going on with them! Zoe, we are on our own,"_ Shaw complained over the earwig.

Joss wanted to assure Zoe and Shaw that they weren't alone, that she was going to tell John to beat it, but she couldn't find her voice as John set her drink down so he could run his index finger up her bare arm making her shiver in reaction. His soft finger left a burning imprint on her skin.

"You have good taste in cocktails, Joss, that spritz is delicious. A personal favorite of mine is sangria, something I'm sure you'd love since you enjoy red wine." John spoke easily as if he wasn't ruining their setup.

Fusco snorted before he entered their conversation; " _Are_ _you sure it's not Dark N' Stormy that's a favorite, wonder-boy?_ "

"I do love sangria," she agreed ignoring Fusco completely.

John smiled. "Next time I come over to your place I'll make us some sangria from a personal recipe I received from this little old Spanish woman I met in Córdoba," he murmured gently, leaning in closer to her. Joss smiled at him, relaxing now that John was here as she took a sip of her cocktail. "How about Sex on the Beach?" he asked.

Joss choked in response. After a few deep calming breaths, not even paying attention to the fact that Ian Murphy looked at her wistfully before moving on to Zoe Morgan, did the coughs die down. "Excuse me?" she managed after she rubbed the tears that were induced from swallowing the alcohol wrong.

"The cocktail; Sex on the Beach, do you like that one?" John asked innocently.

"Oh," she muttered. Her thoughts were definitely _not_ on cocktails but rather John and her on a private beach someplace and…"Yes!" she exclaimed to snap her thoughts out of where they were heading. John was her friend damn it! "Yes, I like sex."

John's lips twitched. "So do I, but do you like the cocktail?"

Joss felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, this spritz has me a little loopy," she lied. No one cocktail did this to her but she was going to lie until she was blue in the face. She was not going to admit that John was flustering her.

" _Reese, keep it in your pants, Murphy just made his move on Zoe because you leeched onto Carter!_ " Shaw snapped.

Joss blinked as John downed the last of her cocktail as he slid out from the booth and stood up to follow Zoe and Ian. She blinked as more than a few women turned to look at him but either he was oblivious or he just ignored them as he left. Joss sat in the booth left to wonder; what the hell just happened. Was John flirting with her?-and if he was, why did she enjoy it so much?

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AN: Oh John you loveable awkward duck your flirting needs a little work ;D And I apologize because Love's in the Water will be getting an update just not sure when. Once I get it back from my friend I will post it for you guys. I know it ended on a cliffie.

Thanks for reading this little distraction piece I have for you guys (it's either four or five chapters in length) while my other longer stories are getting proofed still. I promise goodies are coming including in this one :)


	3. Chapter 3

They all convened outside of the club. Zoe looked upset by the fact that Ian had followed her out after she agreed to a date with him. Shaw looked pissed at him, Lionel seemed amused, and John felt better than ever because Joss had stepped beside him and didn't step back when he moved close, nor did she stop him from pressing his hand to her lower back. It had been a subconscious touch as they stood together. He hadn't meant anything by it but when she didn't ask him to stop nor move to remove an unwanted touch, he left it there, left his fingers press to her lower back brushing the swell of her nice butt she had. And he had been right, her ass looked amazing in the dress.

John looked at Shaw who eyed them, then rolled her eyes grabbing Zoe's elbow roughly. "I'll take your ass home," she snarled as she tugged Zoe along with her, who looked at him wanting him to volunteer which he ignored. He was exactly where he wanted to be, with Joss.

Fusco spoke up next. "Since I'm not needed I'll just head on home since pocket-size took Ms. Morgan home and is going to keep watch. You owe me five dollars for that insanely priced Club Soda if you had all the intention of coming into the club anyways, Mr. Fabulous!" he retorted. It was John's turn to roll his eyes. He would give Fusco all the money Finch paid him if he would just leave. He wanted to take Joss home and wanted to try to verbalize how he felt about her. "I got alimony and child support to pay!" he added further. John glared at him, hoping he'd take that hint to leave. "Good luck with this one," Lionel complained before walking away and John was pleased the round man finally listened…for once.

Now that they were alone like he wanted, his nerves increased. Speaking how he felt about anything wasn't something he was really good at. And his feeble attempt at flirting with her in the club hadn't gone well. She nearly choked on her drink. She looked up into his eyes, even in heels she was tiny.

"Why did you come into the club, John?" she questioned softly.

He didn't want to answer that truthfully, not yet. "I followed Ian inside. I saw you looked tense and alone, so I sat with you," he said which was mostly the truth. He just left off the fact that he had been jealous of the fact that Ian was about to go into the club and sit with her while he had been outside wishing he got to.

"But the sole purpose was for me to be alone so that Ian might come up to me," she pointed out.

He shrugged again. "He found Zoe," he said dryly. He hadn't cared which woman Ian chose as they would be protected, as long as it wasn't Joss. "I'll drive you home, Carter," John offered as he ushered her towards his car. Maybe during the ride he could come up with what to say to her.

He opened the door for her and she climbed in before he slid the door shut for her. He rounded to the driver's side and climbed in before pulling away from the curb. He shifted his gaze quickly onto her and saw she was looking straight ahead before looking back at the road. John wondered if she was starving. He knew she had put in a full shift at work and then had agreed to help them tonight. Surely she had to be beat and he didn't know when she had time to eat which meant she hadn't. Neither had he. And he was starved.

It was quiet in the car, both comfortable together in silence. He pulled to a stop at Red Robin, cutting the engine. "What do you want?" he asked looking at her. Joss eyed him in surprise and he smiled a little. "You worked all day and then we asked you for the entire evening to work a case with us. You had no time to eat, so you have to be hungry. What would you like?"

"How did you know I put in a ten hour shift?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

John squirmed under her penetrating gaze before he smiled. "I might have taken the liberty to look at your day planner the other night when I was over. I saw your schedule and recalled today was a full ten hour shift," he said, trying to sound reasonable and charming. Hopefully she didn't remember where she had her day-planner, then she'd know that he lied about when he came over that night and where he had been…in her bedroom.

"Uh-huh…."

"So what you do you want, Carter?" he prodded trying to distract her.

Joss sighed. "Surprise me," she muttered.

John flashed her a shy smile before he mumbled okay and left her in his car. He knew exactly what he was going to get Joss to eat here. As he entered and placed his order to go he was left to wonder about where they were in their…well whatever they were. Just because she didn't seem to be immune to him didn't necessary mean anything. He stood pondering his dilemma but he came no closer to figuring it out by the time his food was up. He paid for it and exited the restaurant.

He entered the car a short time later with their food and soda. His stomach grumbled at the savory aroma coming from the bag. Her eyes lit up as she eyed the bag of food. He set the Styrofoam cups in his cup-holder before taking out a square white Styrofoam container handing it to her. "I got you the same thing as me," he admitted.

She shrugged. "I don't care what it is, I'm starved," she assured him. He watched as she opened the lid and there sat a giant hamburger on a sesame seed bun with ketchup, mustard, onions, and lettuce oozing out of it. It was gigantic but her eyes lit up and he smiled. He was glad he chose this burger for them. "Mmm…yummy," she said as she picked up the large burger and she took a big bite, moaning loud.

John groaned at her soft moan from pleasure of the burger. His cock stiffened and he shifted consciously trying to alleviate the pressure forming. She looked his way and he knew she caught him staring again, so he cleared his throat. "They have good burgers here, figured you like one," he said, sounding choked.

"I do. I haven't had one in a long time and this burger is amazing. I'm coming here more often," she admitted as she looked out the window.

John opened his own container and began eating to distract himself from her. Watching Joss eat was not good for his health as she licked her lips and moaned in happiness as she ate. In between bites they talked about anything so he didn't do something embarrassing and soon the food was gone and so was the soda. He grabbed the trash, put it back in the bag and turned the car on, pulling them up to a trash bin, opening his window and flinging the garbage inside.

He pulled out mints. "Want one?" he offered and she took one gratefully, both popping them into their mouths before he pulled out of the parking lot and proceeded to drive her home. They talked quietly during the ride over and John sighed dejectedly as he pulled up in front of her brownstone. He was kind of annoyed that they were here already. He enjoyed spending his time with her.

Joss smiled at him as she reached for the door handle. "I appreciate you bringing me home," she said as they climbed out of the car. "You don't have to walk me up. Ian chose Zoe," she insisted.

He shrugged. "I know I don't have too, I want too. Shaw is watching Zoe. I want to make sure you get inside safely," he said softly. As they walked he wracked his brain over how to tell her how he felt without stumbling over his words.

They walked up her front stoop side by side quietly. They remained that way as she unlocked her door, before she turned to look at him.

She was smiling at him. "Thanks for burger John," she said and turned when she felt him grab her elbow. She looked at him questioning. To hell with it, he was always better with actions than words. And there was nothing more direct than a kiss and before he could think better of it, he sighed her name softly as he brought his lips down upon hers.

He stood still as her lips rested under his, unmoving, but they felt warm and amazing. After the brief moment of letting himself enjoy the soft feel he moved his on hers wishing to coax her to participate. And she did. She responded to his questing lips as she kissed him back. She let out a sensual sigh as her arms wrapped around his neck and he immediately settled his hands on her hips tugging her toward him wanting to feel her. She was so soft. He bent a little, straining his neck as she was tiny to rub his lips against hers tenderly. God, he needed more and when she moaned as he slid his hands up from her hips up her body to rest one on her cheek and the other curled in her hair; he knew she did too.

John deepened the kiss which she answered in kind, giving and taking. He grew even more demanding as his fingers on her cheek slid down a little tilting her chin up to change the angle, lessen the strain on the back of his neck, and sucked at her lips. He walked her backwards pressing her against the brick wall of her brownstone as their mouths fused together, unwilling to stop even with the growing need for air. He needed to feel her against him. He slid his tongue forward, wanting entrance to her mouth, wanting to taste her as he had envisioned for so long. Her mouth opened and he swallowed her sexy gasp as his tongue slipped inside immediately at the invitation. His tongue slid over hers and John felt his body nearly combust at the sensations she was evoking in him as he searched her mouth with his tongue. He felt her surrender as his slid a knee between her spread legs, wanting to grind her against it and make her call out his name.

She moaned into the intense kiss as his knee brushed her intimately. What he had set out to do was just kiss her softly, to let her know that he viewed her as more than a friend, but the moment their lips connected all rational thought fled away. He sighed as she pulled him even closer to her. But he pulled back when the need for oxygen was finally greater than the need to continue to devour her mouth. John leaned his forehead against hers, feeling a little shaky from the impact their one kiss had on him. He breathed heavily as he felt the imprint of her lips still on his. John barely resisted the urge to lick them, his not hers, though licking her lips wasn't half a bad idea.

He looked into her eyes seeing her expression, glad he wasn't the only one that was off-kilter thanks to that kiss, and he smiled. "Goodnight, Carter," he murmured huskily before pulling her back in for another kiss, but this time tender. He softly brushed his lips across hers before pulling back.

John exhaled a little rough. He should go, she had to be tired, she needed rest for the work she did. She stared at him, looking well kissed and stunned. "You really do look beautiful in that dress," he added before he forced himself to turn around and walk away to let her relax for the evening, even though she turned his world upside down. John went down her front stoop and forced himself not turn to look backward or he'd storm back up there, kiss her again, and do so much more than just kiss her. He ignored what he wanted and kept going.

But judging by the kiss, maybe how he felt wasn't as entirely one-sided as he thought.

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AN: John really is better at actions than words ;D Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Joss was tired. She didn't sleep the entire night which she decided was all John's damn fault! Her eyes felt gritty. She stood in front of her bathroom mirror in her jammies, staring at her reflection. Her eyes drifted over her face to her lips, she still felt John's on them. Joss instinctively swallowed as she could easily recall the softness of his tongue, able to remember the burning and aching desire that ravaged her as they kiss spiraled further out of control.

That kiss hadn't been a quick peck on the lips which could have been construed as friendly. There was nothing platonic with how demanding his lips were, the hot glide of his tongue across her own, or how she responded to it. Or for the fact that electricity raced up her spine as his knee brushed her intimately and the way he held her so gently, like she was a treasure he wanted to cherish. Yep, they were flirting with disaster but there was no hope to stop because she was struck with the very real revelation: she was attracted to John, deeply. Not just physically attracted to him, though John was a very good-looking man, oozing sex appeal with gorgeous blue eyes, framed by those lashes, that let you see into his soul, a soul that spoke to her; troubled but inherently good. He just needed reminding and some guidance. But she had always seen him as 'just a friend' for a long time until something changed between them. And that was the real question that had kept her up all night: when? When did her feelings change for him? When did his change for her? When would he kiss her again? When, when, when?

Joss made a face of utter disgust with herself before grabbing her toothbrush, disposable cup and proceeded to brush her teeth. Afterwards she exited her bathroom to figure out what to do today. She had the day off and apparently sleep was going to elude her. While Joss could go out to work her side project which was dig up dirt on HR, but, the very notion of going out and watching those slugs left a bitter taste in her mouth. There was always tomorrow. She was taking her time not wanting them to become aware of the fact that she was collecting evidence against them. Maybe today she'd see if her boy was available to go out to dinner or something after school. And Joss felt an intense pang in her heart. She missed her son. Taylor had to live with his father now, the same father that took a good long time to straighten up his life to be in his son's life, because of her dangerous undertaking of bringing down HR. Joss just couldn't risk having Taylor here with her just in case they figured out what she was up too. It was too dangerous.

She glanced at her clock on her nightstand seeing it was just after seven in the morning. Well she'd text her son later after school to see if he was free for dinner or something. But that left all morning and afternoon for her and the persistent vivid memories of John's kiss, thinking about their relationship and where it was heading, and mentally disrobing him. Just great, she thought in aggravation.

Joss exited her bedroom when her bed mocked her and took the stairs at a quick rate needing some coffee and blinked in surprise when there was a loud rapping on her door. She frowned as she eyed the door. It certainly wasn't John. For one he didn't know the meaning of knocking and two, she figured he'd avoid her for a while over that kiss. Not that she was going to let him avoid her for long. She didn't want a repeat of what happened after Rikers because he had been upset of what she risked for him. Joss couldn't handle another drought of not seeing him. She enjoyed his company too much to let some pesky attraction meddle with their friendship. If by some chance they both wanted to see through these blossoming and deepening feelings between them; then so be it. Joss didn't want to lose John and if he apologized for the kiss, she'd fake a smile and pretend it was indeed a mistake they both made. At least she'd still have him.

She trudged over to the door and tugged it open and was startled to see Harold there. "Finch," she said letting her surprise sound in her voice.

Harold smiled. "Good morning, detective," he chirped, nearly too cheerful, but that was because she was running on zero sleep and she was jealous that he seemed well-rested. "I brought refreshments." he said holding out a large cup of coffee as if he knew she'd be upset at the early morning call. "Mr. Reese made a mention once that you like your coffee without sugar and very light milk. I had the barista place only one creamer in." he added.

She smiled as she stepped back to let him, gladly to take the peace offering. "I didn't need the coffee to let you in Finch but I'm taking it anyway. I didn't sleep much last night," she admitted as she closed the door, barely refraining from complaining that it was all this man's certain friend and partner's fault, well that and her raging hormones because she hadn't had sex in a while. She groaned as she had no doubt that John was a very skilled and thorough lover, judging by John's intense yearning to take care of everyone, she'd bet that included in the bedroom too. Joss took a sip of the coffee to sidetrack her thoughts as they were slinking off towards the gutter. She could feel the caffeine already entering her veins. "Thanks for this," Joss said. She cocked her head at his cup. "What's your poison?—if I remember from a previous stakeout we went on together you asked for Sencha Green Tea."

"Still is,"he murmured with a large smile.

Joss led him to her living room and felt seriously underdressed in her own home, probably because Harold was standing in her place in a three-piece suit looking very much the classy and stylish billionaire that he was. While she stood barefoot in hot pink pajama shorts that rested high on her thighs and an old ratty gray over-sized tee that had three holes beginning to form.

They sat down on her couch and when he remained silent just taking in her place as he looked around shifting very carefully to gaze about, she broke the silence. "So, uh, what's up?—not that I don't want you here, Finch, but you never came over before," Joss said. She didn't exactly entertain billionaires in her modest townhouse. It was roomy and conventional for her but it was budgeted for people in her price point, not a guy who could own like a hundred of these or more. And the only people who ever came by here were her son, her momma, on the rare occasion Fusco, and John. John was the only one who truly ever came over all the time. She didn't have many friends and the ones she did have at work were mainly that; work friends, and she never invited them here in her sanctuary. She didn't really trust many people to see her here. Then a sudden horrible thought filled her and she stiffened in apprehension. "Wait. Is John okay? Is he hurt? Does he need help?" she rifled off before he had any chance of answer any question.

Finch smiled as he looked at her. "Mr. Reese is alright Jocelyn," he reassured quickly to soothe her.

Joss sagged immediately as she released a sigh of relief. But if he wasn't here because John was in trouble then why was he? "Okay…is there a problem with the Ian Murphy case?"

"Oh no, Ms. Shaw stayed overnight keeping watch on Ms. Morgan and John took the morning and early-afternoon shift before her impending date with Mr. Murphy," Harold spoke. Joss grimaced which she hid by drinking a big gulp of coffee. Great, John was going to be with Zoe all morning after their kiss that left her wanting more. Zoe would gladly help him relieve any tension Joss had stirred up in him and she curled her hand around the insulated cup tighter nearly crushing it in her hand. So help her if that snake with big hair and dressed in red didn't keep her hands off John, she'd ram the woman's fifteen hundred dollar Zanotti's up her ass!

"I could go keep watch on Zoe so John can go keep an eye on Murphy," Joss offered. At least then John would be around a guy and wasn't anywhere near a beautiful woman as they struggled to figure out what the hell was going on with them.

"I appreciate the offer Jocelyn…"

"I insist. I have nothing to do today and we need eyes and ears on Murphy since he seems to be the perp. Zoe and I can talk while John keeps watch of Ian," she said, veiling her reasons for the offer behind kindness, setting her coffee cup down on the coffee-table in front of her. Finch would never know she had an ulterior motive for wanting to help with their case.

"Is there a reason you do not wish Mr. Reese and Ms. Morgan to be close, Jocelyn?"

"No." she answered quickly and loudly, which made the man smile knowingly. She narrowed her eyes on him. "Do you have something to say, Harold?" she asked pointedly.

Harold shifted so he could view her comfortably. "Jocelyn, I, uh, well I was on the other end of the…of when Mr. Reese…well, I heard the two of you yesterday," he stuttered and stammered trying to explain.

Her brows rose high. "You heard what exactly?" she asked, not about to admit to anything until she knew what he was getting at.

Finch sighed, realizing the detective was going to make him embarrass himself but he came by here for a reason and now that he started, he had to see this through. "Well I heard Mr. Reese and you talking in the club when Mr. Reese was supposed to stay outside. And then he failed to mute me when you two were in the car and when you were…ah…carrying on…."

"You listened to us kiss!" Joss exclaimed and he fidgeted as he nodded his head, looking every where but at her. "If he forgot to mute us then why didn't you tune out, Finch?!" she asked.

"I did once I realized that the two of you were kissing. At first I wasn't sure what was going on until I heard happy moaning." he admitted quietly as his cheeks flushed red. "Once I understood what was happening I muted you two instantly," he tacked on. Joss sat there staring at her friend who was still blushing. She believed him that he immediately muted them once he realized what was happening. She groaned…happy moaning, oh god. "I apologize for embarrassing us both Jocelyn, and I wasn't ever going to speak about it, but I'm concerned," Harold said with a sigh.

"Concerned?" she demanded as her brows crinkled as she frowned. "Concerned about what exactly?"

"John," he answered simply.

Joss felt a wave of anger wash over her. "Are you saying John's not good enough for me? Or are you hinting that you don't approve of what happened between us?—because, no offense, Finch, but you can go shove it! John and I are two adults who are attracted to each other and can do whatever the hell we want. We do not need your, or anyone else's for that matter, approval!" she stated crossly.

Finch smiled happily. "Nothing of the kind Jocelyn, yours and John's personal and private life is very much yours and John's. I actually am deeply satisfied of the shifting dynamic between the two of you," he acknowledged with genuine warmth.

"You are?" she couldn't hide the skepticism from her voice. "Doesn't sound like you are if you're concerned about what happened," she murmured.

"You misunderstand my concern, Jocelyn; my concern isn't because of you or the development of real feelings between you and Mr. Reese. I'm quite happy that John is slowly finding more to life than to die for our cause and with you who is a wonderful person," Harold said softly. She smiled as her anger died. Finch did look positively aglow with happiness at the thought of them being more than friends. "My concern stems from the fact that John is very…shall I say; absorbed with your well-being."

"I see," she said in confusion because she truly didn't. She didn't get what his 'concern' was. That was John. He only had one mode and that was: protective.

Harold smiled once again. "He can't stop thinking about you, detective, I have more times than naught caught Mr. Reese lost in deep thought."

"That could be about anything, Finch," she said off-handedly as she was deep in thought herself about what Finch was implying. Because if he was implying what she thought he was implying then she needed to talk to John ASAP.

Finch shook his head. "I would agree but I know that look on his face because I've seen it in my reflection when I think about Grace."

Joss furrowed her brows, never hearing that name before. "Who?" she asked, trying to place this woman.

"That's irrelevant. But what is not is that I know it's you on John's mind and as you know Mr. Reese has suffered a great loss before."

"Yea, Jessica," she agreed.

Harold nodded. "Has John told you about her?"

She shook her head. "Not really. I offered to listen once while we were on a stakeout together and he looked close to opening up to me but he clammed up. I kind of gave him hell about it too; pressing his buttons about being the type of friend you tell the game too or share your life with. Leaving it up to him about which one he wanted me to be."

"You're definitely the latter Jocelyn," Harold murmured.

"Not at first," she countered.

"No, John is very cautious. Too cautious perhaps, but, he's lost so much, so letting people he cares for, it frightens him for fear that he'll lose them."

Joss searched her friend's gaze. "How do you know?—did he tell you?" she wondered and tried to not feel jealous of the fact that he felt comfortable enough to tell Finch but not her.

"No. John maintains a certain distance with me even after all this time. But I know one person who could bridge that distance and it is not me. Everything I learned about John was through less than scrupulous means," Harold admitted. Joss stared at him. Meaning he hacked into public records and not so public to find out what he wanted to know about John.

"Okay, but none of this explains why you're concerned about the fact that he kissed me."

"John won't be able to handle another loss, Jocelyn," Harold said truthfully. "He's a dear friend and you are as well. But you're whole…John is learning to pick up the pieces of his life, working so hard to atone for his past, and is trying to move forward. He has gravitated towards you from the very first moment, Jocelyn. You were the first person he thought of when we were struggling to decide how to get Teresa back with her Aunt, he trusted you implicitly. You were his first thought while recuperating from the shooting by CIA. John was worried about what you were going through because of him."

Joss felt her heart ache at that. "I got him shot. He shouldn't have cared about what I had to endure with Snow and the CIA for letting him slip away, because I foolishly believed those lying bastards. My instincts told me not to trust them but I ignorantly ignored them, which I've never done again," she said harshly. It still hurt to know that had she just trusted in what she felt, then John would never have been shot!

"But he did."

"Well he shouldn't have," she replied.

Harold stared at her. "And I agreed with that sentiment at first," he admitted and Joss smiled, grateful for the honesty. "But my mind changed, Jocelyn."

"You don't owe me an explanation, Harold. I still haven't fully forgiven myself for getting him shot."

"Do not tell John that. He'll be very upset with you, detective. He sees his past as his own and that the CIA was going to catch up to him eventually, that you truly had nothing to do with that," Harold said, resigned, as if they have had many arguments about his past and whether or not he deserved to be hunted. She chuckled as she felt that way about John's beliefs about himself too. "Jocelyn, I didn't come here to interfere in your private affairs, truly. I only came to ask of you something because John's welfare is a concern of mine."

"What?" she asked with a sigh. "It depends on what you're going to ask me to do, Finch. I will not make any promises I know I can't keep."

"All I ask is if you do not share the same feelings for him that you won't cease the friendship between you two. He needs that and you in his life," Finch said simply.

Joss smiled. "I can promise you that nothing will ever come between John and me. He's stuck with me."

Finch chuckled. "Mr. Reese will surely not see that as a problem," he asserted and Joss felt warm at the comment. Harold slowly got to his feet. "Thank you for alleviating my fears, Jocelyn. And whatever your plans for the future with John as just a friend or more, I hope you know I fully support you both."

"Thanks," she muttered as she stood too so she could escort him to the door. "Uh, do you need help with Zoe?—I wasn't joking about going to sit with her so John could go make sure Murphy is being watched. I got nothing to do." And if she was busy then she wouldn't be solely focused on her kiss with John and the shared attraction, or this conversation with Harold. Joss just wasn't ready to dissect what Harold meant with this.

"We got it covered, Jocelyn, take this time to relax and enjoy your day off." he said as they walked together to her foyer.

She sighed having figured he'd say that. He was another worrier! She grabbed the knob and opened the door for him and before he could exit she spoke, "Finch, can I ask something?"

He paused and turned to look at her. "Certainly, detective."

"Who's Grace?" she questioned and nearly wished she hadn't because the sad look that filled his face saddened her.

"The woman I love," he supplied before the look was gone, concealed by a smile. "I'll be seeing you, Jocelyn," he added and with that he left.

Joss slid the door shut, lost in thoughts.

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AN: Oh Finchy-poo you just gave Joss lots to think about ;D There is only two more chapters of this. And I finally have a BMTL chapter coming too. Thank you Elaine for putting up my sporadic muse and reproofing yet more chapters for me because I decided to change like basically everything LOL. And I thank you guys for being patient. I'll be posting it tomorrow. Tonight it's this :)

Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

_**AN: I was going to post yesterday but I didn't feel too well. Sorry guys, here it is now.**_

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John sat inside Zoe's place trying to stifle another yawn. He was exhausted. He hadn't slept the entire night because of that kiss with Joss. He hadn't experienced that sort of need in a long time…if ever. It felt like he was drowning and Joss was his only lifeline. But his main problem was: how did she feel and did she enjoy it? John sighed in disgust with himself. Any other woman besides Joss he had never allowed these things to bother him, but with her they did. He wanted to be good enough for her but that thought nearly made him laugh. Because he wasn't and never would be good enough for her, he wasn't good enough for anyone, but especially not anyone special like Joss Carter. Though she had kissed him back but he wasn't sure what to make of that fact. Did she kiss him back because of him or did she just unconsciously respond to it and would have to any man kissing her? He didn't really think it was the latter but he was scared to hope it was the former. John wasn't exactly the type of man that many women thought of wanting to be with. He didn't know how to get close, didn't talk much, and he couldn't truly date. Talk about being the exact opposite of being a catch.

Zoe exhaled when John was still in la-la land. "You haven't heard a single word I said, have you?" she asked and watched as John jerked out of the stupor he was in.

John cringed internally. She had been speaking? "Uh…, not really." he admitted sheepishly. Then noticed they were sitting awfully close with her palm resting on his upper thigh, so he eased back but she followed.

"I said: let's pass time the correct way," she murmured throatily with a come-hither smile.

"Poker?" he suggested.

Zoe laughed. "If its strip poker and you end up naked in my bed pleasuring me then yes," she purred as she leaned in to kiss him. He evaded it as he slid from the couch and stood up.

"Zoe I'm not here for sex. I'm here to make sure you aren't in any danger."

Zoe stood up. "What happened?" she asked with a finely arched brow. She spent good money to keep her appearances up. Zoe crossed her arms across her designer blouse. When Shaw admitted John was on his way over to sit with her for the morning and afternoon, Zoe had taken a shower and spruced herself up with the hopes of luring him to bed.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean, Zoe," he said as he walked to her windows to look out.

Zoe eyed him. That aloofness was sexy and aggravating at the same time. She never met a man that made her want to fuck his brains out and have to practically spell it out to him. "Us John, last time we were in the same room with each other, alone, we couldn't keep our hands off each other," she reminded as she sauntered up to him.

She rested her palm on his lower back before sliding it down. It wasn't an entirely true statement. John had sat in the penthouse suite in the Coronet Hotel and talked with her. She hadn't gone with him to talk. She had gone for sex and only that. Zoe had been trying her hardest and worked her charms on John for a while to get him in bed and she wasn't going to waste time by frivolously talking. She kissed him, undressed him, undressed herself, and led him to bed. Come to think of it; she did everything, and she had been the one unable to keep her hands off him. The realization doused the fire raging in her, because never in her life before did a man make her want so much and not have the feeling reciprocated. All the men she ever slept with before; they had to put in the work, they had to buy her gifts, and they had to practically beg her before she climbed into bed with them. There always had to be something in it for her. But with John the roles had reversed. She had been the one that practically begged him to fuck her and it left her unsettled. She pulled back, crossing her arms, and stared up into his eyes.

"As I said Zoe: I'm not here for sex. I'm here to protect you. I do not mix business and pleasure. Your life means more than empty sex."

Zoe nodded. "Yea, but I have the feeling even if my life wasn't possibly in danger that you wouldn't be undressing for me anytime soon."

John shrugged. "After our dalliance in the suite we agreed when we felt like it, we'd meet up."

"So you're saying you haven't felt like having sex with me?" Zoe murmured. John shrugged again in answer.

She had craved this man's body since they left the hotel that day. She just refused to break down and be the one to call him to meet for sex. Zoe always took her pleasure from the men but they were the ones that called and she had wished for John to call, but he never did. It couldn't be her. It just couldn't be. There had to be something else going on with John. Last night John had been eyeing Joss Carter like she was the only woman in the world even though she and Shaw had stood right there. John hadn't taken his gaze off her once the entire night going so far as entering the club when he was supposed to remain outside. She let out a breath of relief. It wasn't her. It was because John was in love with another woman. She felt immensely better as her confidence reemerged.

The door to Zoe's place opened and Shaw entered looking trite and angry. But what else was new? "Scram Reese!—I'll keep an eye on Zoe while you go keep an eye on our guy. Finch wants someone watching that serial dater. It's better you because I want to shoot him."

John was glad Shaw was there because he had no intentions of sleeping with Zoe or explaining why not. "Is that alright with you, Zoe?" he asked.

"Sure; Shaw and I can talk." Zoe murmured before coyly smirking at John. "Bye, John." her flirtation was back.

John shook his head as he turned without another word and exited her place, closing the door behind him. He had figured Shaw would sleep in longer than that but apparently not.

He called Harold as he strode for the exit of Zoe's complex. "Is Murphy at his home or at place of work?" he asked when Harold answered.

"Excuse me, Mr. Reese?" Harold sounded unsure.

John frowned. "Shaw. She said that you wanted someone to keep an eye on Murphy which is a good idea and she didn't want to be the one to do it," he said as he headed for his car.

"Er…well, yes,"

John paused with his hand hovering over the car door's handle. Finch was a terrible liar. "So it wasn't your idea?"

"No," he agreed quickly.

"Then why did Shaw say it was?" he asked confused.

Harold exhaled. "Mr. Reese, Ms. Shaw is still very much a mystery. Perhaps she thought it was best someone was watching Mr. Murphy and figured you would only agree to it if you thought I suggested it?"

John shrugged. "Maybe, whatever; just get me his whereabouts."

"I'm on it, John."

John nodded as he ended the connection as he climbed into his car when his cell rang. He looked down and saw it was Joss. He hesitated for only a moment before answering. What if she needed him or if one of HR was bothering her?—he'd destroy them.

"Hello, detective," he greeted trying to sound indifferent but it came out thick because of memories of last night.

She was slow to respond. "I'm surprised you answered."

"Why, you called?"

He thought he heard her chuckle. "Well if I do recall right, you avoided me after Rikers," Joss murmured.

"I didn't avoid you," he countered.

"Oh, so choosing to steer clear of me for a while isn't avoiding. I see the difference now," she teased.

He sighed as he rubbed a hand through his hair. "I stayed away because you did too much for me. You nearly lost your career and freedom for me. I never wanted to put you in that sort of position, Carter. I felt guilty."

"I suppose you think you're the only one allowed to make sacrifices for a friend," she said without any accusation or anger underlining her tone. "But I didn't call to argue over the past, John, because it's done and over with; just don't avoid me again, that hurt me."

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, he never wanted to hurt her.

"I know you are. I know why you did it. Just please don't do it again," she requested.

He swallowed hard. "I couldn't even if I wanted to," he whispered.

Joss was quiet. "We need to talk, John."

John's back stiffened. If she wanted to tell him how she regretted the kiss or how she didn't want him then he didn't want to hear it. He'd prefer to pretend the kiss never happened. "I have to work the Murphy case."

"I meant after. I know you're busy with that case. And I was looking forward to having dinner with my son."

"How is Taylor?" he asked latching onto the subject change.

"He's good. He's growing up so fast though," she said with a heavy maternal sigh. "But nice try: you're not shifting the subject onto my baby. You're smooth but not that smooth, John," Joss teased once more, again not sounding angry. "How about tomorrow?—my shift ends at four. Come over about seven and I'll have takeout and you can bring one of those yummy desserts you spoiled me with. We'll talk then."

"Carter, I—"

Joss's voice dropped to a husky and sexy whisper, "Please, John," she purred and he shuddered as he would do anything she wanted him to. "You kissed me and we really need to talk."

"Alright, I'll be there at seven." he agreed.

"Good, it's a date. See you then, John." she said with a smile sounding in her voice and with that she hung up. He sat in his car and was thoughtful. She didn't sound like she was going to try to let him down gently. In fact she seemed pretty pleased with herself. John would think about it later so he could be prepared for tomorrow, as of right now he had Ian Murphy to concentrate on.

* * *

AN: Oh John, you cute ball of uncertainty you got her you just don't realize you got her. Anyhoo the next chapter is the last one.

Thanks for reading this little thing.


	6. Chapter 6

She was anxious. Why? She had no idea because she and John had shared dinner tons of times and had lots of conversations that ranged from deep to mundane. But tonight was just different because they were going to be talking about their more than friendly feelings for one another. Joss curled her hair, put on about the same amount of makeup she had on for when she went to the club when John was flirting with her. Joss chose a dainty lavender-colored silk cold-shoulder blouse with black leggings, coupled with red heels that added about three inches to her height. She eyed her reflection and decided that she looked hot and John wasn't going to know what hit him. The blouse's color was inspired by the shirt John wore when they talked at Lyric Diner for the first time; when they began their dance that neither one knew the steps to. It started then, Joss thought. That morning, that meeting was the moment when they began falling without a safety net with only the other to catch them.

Joss smiled at her reflection before shaking her head. John caught her alright. She turned, exiting the bathroom and her eyes caught sight of the box of condoms resting on the nightstand. She wasn't going to evaluate why it had been absolutely essential for her to go to the pharmacy and pick them up this afternoon but it had been; so was shaving, getting a mani-pedi, and getting that bikini wax. She wasn't expecting sex but it couldn't hurt for being prepared. And that was Joss in a nutshell; she always came prepared.

She shook her head as she turned to hurry downstairs and felt the little nervous butterflies flittering about in her stomach as she came up upon her dimly lit lower level. She had lit about fifteen tall white Yankee non-scented candles spreading them out through her living room giving it a romantic glow, but now, as she eyed the setup with the wine bottle resting with two glasses and takeout warming in her oven to keep it hot, she wondered if she went a little too far. She wanted John comfortable but her place looked like a scene straight out a chick flick.

But it was too late to change it now she realized as she glanced at her watch and heard a hesitant knock on the door, John was here. Joss felt a bubble of excitement grow in her, nearly as much as she felt humorous at the fact that he actually knocked on the door for once. But instead she fiddled with her hair and straightened imaginary wrinkles of her blouse as she headed for the door.

Joss opened it and smiled. "Hi, John," she greeted and her smile widened as his big blues darkened that she now realized was because he desired her as his gaze drifted up and down her body. But her own smile froze as her eyes drifted down and caught sight that he wasn't wearing man-in-the-suit attire and was instead of wearing a charcoal gray dress shirt tucked into gray dress slacks. He was wearing a leather coat unzipped and John looked smoldering hot.

John stared before he blinked trying to work the stupor away. Joss caught him off guard looking impossibly beautiful. "Uh…the chocolate dessert you requested." he muttered, feeling like he was tongue-tied.

She finally pulled her gaze away from that little patch of skin that was revealed because he left the top three buttons unbuttoned.

Joss forced her gaze onto the small square box he held before taking it greedily so she could fill her hands with something to resist from grabbing him. Joss had thought long and hard about what Harold had said. But before they got to that she wanted to put John at ease, then share some dinner with casual conversation while they sidestepped 'the kiss', and then they could get down to the nitty-gritty.

"You need to tell me where you get these!" she stated as she stepped back to let him in and he entered. She couldn't resist sneaking a peek inside as he closed the door for her, locking it up for her and removed his coat. Joss opened the box's lid and groaned at the goodies inside.

John removed his coat. "It's a double chocolate truffle pie. I also brought those hazelnut truffles you enjoyed," he murmured softly, watching as she snuck out a small hazelnut truffle popping it into her mouth in one go.

Joss sighed as she ate the bite sized truffle. Good lord, they were amazing. He brought these truffles by a couple months ago and she nearly gorged herself on them in front of him. She barely waited until he left and ate the entire box he brought, not even bothering to share with her son. He was at his dad's she reasoned and would never they were there.

"How is it?" he asked with a hint of apprehension.

She looked at him and saw an unreadable expression on his sexy face. "Like heaven on Earth," she answered which seemed to make him happy. "Okay, I'm demanding to know where you get these damn treats. You can't hoard the secret to yourself any longer!" Joss said as she motioned for him to follow her.

John followed her silent command and faltered as they entered her living room. Joss had lit candles all over the living room setting the room in a soft candlelight glow. Wine glasses and a bottle of red wine rested on her coffee-table.

"I was in the mood for candlelight," she offered up as a reason. She moved to the couch and sat down gently patting the cushion beside her. "I'll go get dinner in a moment. It's actually takeout that I put in the oven to keep it warm." she admitted. With the bikini wax, mani-pedi, shopping, and then thinking about them that she had done; it left herself no time to cook dinner.

"That's fine," he said softly as he sat down next to her, reaching out to open the wine. He needed to do something.

Joss set the box on the table after snatching another hazelnut truffle, popping it into her mouth. That double chocolate truffle pie would be after dinner dessert that she'd share with John. But he got one piece. The rest was staying with her.

She polished off the truffle before accepting the wineglass full of wine that he poured for her. "Now come on spill, tell me where this bakery is that you keep getting these treats from. I need these in my life more often than when you bring them over," she said.

"There is no bakery," John said leaning back but kept his eyes downcast to his glass as he took a careful sip. If she continued to ask he would tell her the truth.

"Come on, John; give me the name please! You can't hoard this place to yourself," she huffed not buying there wasn't a bakery he was just trying to stall.

He lifted his gaze off the wine and to look into her eyes. "There is no bakery, Joss."

She frowned realizing he was telling her the truth. "So where the hell do you get these desserts from then?"

"I make them," he mumbled quietly.

Joss felt her jaw drop open. He made them? He made them! "Are you telling me that all this time, all these desserts you have been bringing to my place were made by you?!" she demanded and he nodded in answer as he shifted uncomfortably. "John, they are amazing! Oh god, do you cook half as well as you bake?" she asked and he shrugged. "Is that a shrug trying to not toot your own horn or do you not really know?!" she demanded, knowing just how to twist his arm to get a home-cooked dinner from him.

And John didn't disappoint as he looked at her quietly. "Maybe I'll cook for you sometime and you'll be the judge," he murmured.

"Deal, not that I even need you to, I already know that you can cook based on your baking abilities," she said happily. "I just said that so you would invite me to your place and cook me dinner."

He chuckled softly as he shook his head. He should have known Joss was fishing for a home cooked meal. Joss simply beamed that John had shared something so personal with her, something she was sure he didn't share with just anyone.

After a few minutes of wordlessly sipping their wine with happy silence amongst them, she set her wine glass down. Time to get dinner started, she felt jazzed and hungry.

"I'll go get our dinner. Stay put." she said with a tap to his knee before she got to her feet.

She hurried into her kitchen humming. She grabbed two plates before grabbing an oven mitt, opened the oven door and bent down to pull out the food when she heard a soft sound. Joss looked over her shoulder before she straightened and gave John her best glare that could make even the most hardened criminal squirm. But instead John smiled at her. And her breath caught because his smile, his real genuine smile, was literally breathtaking.

"I thought I told you to stay put," Joss demanded, recovering enough from that damn smile he blinded her with. So far they both were doing a fair job of avoiding their palpable attraction and the fact the kiss loomed between them.

"You did, but I wanted to see if I could help," he soothed.

John had not come in here to see her bend over, or at least that's what he told himself anyway. He sure hadn't minded the way her tight pants stretched over her backside nicely. But he was treading carefully because he didn't know how to proceed. He thought the reason for this dinner was to talk about the fact that he kissed her yesterday. But so far she was acting as if nothing out of the norm had happened. Maybe the kiss didn't mean anything to her, he felt an ache form at that thought. That had to be it. Joss wanted him over to show him she had nothing except for friendly feelings for him.

Joss watched him as he stood in front of her. She wondered if he had always been an open book and she never realized it or did he suddenly become easily readable to her because he wasn't even attempting to close his expression. But she didn't say a word, instead together they got their plates full of food which they carried into the living room where they sat down and ate.

They talked about anything that she could think of to relax John. Slowly as they ate and talked he relaxed, and within an hour the plates were empty and stomachs full.

"We'll have dessert in a little bit, right now I'm stuffed," she admitted as she rubbed her tummy.

He smiled. "So am I."

She slid off the couch as she strode over to her stereo in the corner of the room turning it on and let soft music fill the room. She turned around and saw John's mask slip off and he looked unsure of himself.

"I felt like playing music." she murmured in answer as she sat down beside him again. "What's wrong, John?" she wondered as she scooted closer to him.

John looked at her. "Joss, about last night," he started but his voice trailed off.

"About what last night, John; when you flirted with me or came into the club to keep Ian from choosing me, or do you mean the kiss? What part of last night are you referring to?" she asked innocently enough.

"I-I…"

"Please do not lie and tell me you weren't flirting with me the entire night last night because you lost that chance at convincing me of that when you brought up the cocktail: Sex on the Beach," she continued, not letting him wiggle out of it. John flirted with her, had been for a while now, and then he gave her a toe curling kiss! Nope, he wasn't allowed to backtrack on her now; he made the first move, now it was her turn. But she needed some answers first.

John didn't lie but he remained tight-lipped so she proceeded on, "You kissed me, John."

"I know."

"I haven't been kissed like that in a very long time; not even Cal kissed me with that sort of need and passion," she said conversationally. She noted the look on his face; he wasn't closed off and he looked so vulnerable, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Joss, I don't know what to say."

"No?" she said, not believing him. She knew he knew what he wanted to say, he was just too scared. No doubt all his insecurities and doubts that lived deep in John were riled up and while she wished she could help battle them, she couldn't. That was a war only he could fight, she only could offer assistance.

"No," he agreed.

"I want you to tell me _everything_ , John. No more smoke and mirrors, it's just you and me here so no more hiding," she challenged him and she knew she caught him by surprise.

"Joss—"

But she cut him off. "Fine, you want me to spell it out to you? I will. I want to hear about Jessica, about why you really broke up with her, why you used her for years to stay alone," she said bluntly and watched as he flinched. "I want to hear how you feel about me and when did your feelings change for me. You kissed me, you kissed me like you were a starving man and I was your buffet, so I know how you feel about but me, but it isn't enough," she said softly, reaching out and resting her hand on his cheek, eyes on his. "I know you have a hard time opening up, but if you want me, if you truly want there to be something more than what we have now, then you're going to have to; because I will not settle for anything less than every single part of you, John," she said taking a breath. "I'm not going to let you know everything about me but I'm not given the same right. Whatever this is between us is beautiful and potent, but I will walk away from it if I'm not given the respect of being your equal partner in this." She couldn't bear falling so deeply and helplessly in love with John only to find out it wasn't going to work out because he wasn't willing to meet her halfway.

John stared at her big brown eyes and saw she meant it; she'd walk away from him if he didn't talk to her, didn't open up. He reached out to brush his fingers across her soft cheek before curling her hair behind her ear before dropping his hand down.

"John, please…"

He swallowed hard. "For you; I'll do anything," he whispered thickly. And he watched as her warm brown eyes glittered with unshed tears as she smiled up at him.

"Start at the beginning,"she asked, gently sliding her hand down, grabbing his big one in hers and felt it tremble. She knew she was asking a lot of a man who had been told for most of his adult life to not share his feelings or not even have them at all. But she couldn't help herself. Joss wanted a true partnership and she felt that they could have that once he opened up and gave himself to her.

"I never felt like I belonged anywhere," he started off, shaky and quiet. "All my family died when I was young and I didn't make too many friends in the Army." Joss nodded. "But then in February of 01' I met this nurse at a bar where me and a couple friends of mine that I did have had gone to. She was beautiful, sweet, and I felt different around her. We started dating."

"Jessica."

He nodded. "I was deployed but it was short and when I got back we were all over each other. I loved her and she loved me and I was so scared that one of these times when I came back she wouldn't be there. It was the first time I felt like I belonged anywhere…with her," he said softly before stopping. She squeezed his hand in support. "So we went to Mexico for a little getaway, then I could tell her I was leaving the Army for her."

"What happened?"

"The towers came down and I re-upped," he answered stoically.

Joss nodded. "Did you two break up when you re-upped?" she asked, lapping up all the information he was telling her like a kitten with cream. She was so thirsty to know more about him, understand what happened, and be let in. And finally he was giving her her wish.

He shook his head. "No. I was deployed again but when I got back that time I ended things with her."

Joss felt like they were at the pinnacle; getting the answer to this question. "Why did you really end things with Jessica?" she asked.

John swallowed hard, unable to keep his gaze on her as he turned to look straight ahead, staring off into the distance. "First tour—we were outside of Herat, making our way through the mountains at night. We heard shooting. Group of Rangers stumbled into the Taliban in the dark. And by the time we got there, they were all dead. Both sides, it was just one of those things. We had to be over the mountains by sunrise, so we searched them, took their tags, their water, their ammunition, and we just kept moving. And I noticed something," he said pausing.

Joss searched his face, noticing the tension lining his face but also the brightness to his luminous eyes. She didn't comment on it, but squeezed his hand with hers in silent comfort. "What did you notice?" she asked when the silence lasted a while.

"They all had a picture—girlfriend, wife, kid. And after a while, I realized everybody I found, on either side, had a picture."

Joss just wanted to hug John. She had an idea what it was like since she was on the other side too but her world and his were far different. "John, they were fighting for something."

He shook his head as his eyes met hers. "They were dying for something," he countered gruffly. "So I figured that maybe if I didn't have a picture to carry around with me then I'd be better at my job, so when I got back, I ended things with Jessica. She met Peter and, well, you know the rest."

Joss stared at him. His look was unreadable but she knew what it took for him to tell her that. It was engrained in John to leave things buried deep inside him. But now she knew why he used Jessica as a way to keep people out made sense, because he had ended things with her to survive. In John's mind loving anyone was a risk he couldn't take or he could end up one of the dog tags found. He had known Jessica couldn't handle losing him. So he had ended things to protect them both and she became his lost chance, a lost chance that haunted him and became something he used to inflict wounds to himself.

"Thank you for telling me about why you really ended things," she said finally. John gave her a small smile in response. "Now things make more sense."

"What things?" he wondered.

"Why you used her for this long as a reason you couldn't move on. You used her because you were angry with yourself for being human, for being afraid of dying, of getting close to just lose them," she murmured, knowing about his family history. John just nodded. "Thank you for trusting me with the truth, John."

"You once said to me that there were different kinds of friends; the ones you share the game with and the ones you share your life with. I never really gave you an answer but you were always the one I wanted to share my life with," he admitted in his soft timber, and she smiled warmly. He looked so scared as he spoke, like he was waiting for her to reject him.

Joss wanted to reassure him but she had a little bit more of soul digging they needed to do first. She needed him to attempt at putting his heart out on the line for her. John knew every damn thing about her and he was going to even out the playing field.

"As a friend or something more?" she asked, tightening her grip when he went to remove his hand, perhaps to get to his feet and put some space between them. Last night was easy for John, showing her how much he cared was one thing but she wanted to hear it too. "John, just tell me: did you want to share your life with me as a friend or something more?"

"The answer isn't easy," he stated shortly, looking trapped in a corner. Joss wanted to soothe him and try to help him talk about his feelings, help make this easier for him. But she couldn't, all she could do was give him the time to give her his answers.

"I want just your honesty. So take your time and tell me, John."

"For a long time just as a friend because I resisted the fact that I could have a life again, to move on from Jessica and my past to have a real future," he said as his body relaxed and he looked less tense than mere seconds ago. She wondered if it was because he realized she hadn't turned away from him. Nothing could make her turn away from him but she doubted he knew that.

"Because you weren't ready to forgive yourself," she supplied and he looked at her sharply. Joss shrugged. "I'm calling it like I see it. You have punished yourself these last several years for being human. You were scared to die on the other side and saw Jessica and your love for her as a distraction," she murmured. Losing Jessica had changed that fact because she knew for damn sure when she got a hold of him in that precinct when he beat up those punks that he had been precariously close to ending his life. His eyes showed how done with life he had been. But now, now they had life once more. "So when did your feelings for me change, when you realized you were a very much alive, a man with needs and had a future?"

"Maybe," he hedged.

She smiled, glad she wasn't the only one that didn't solely know when their feelings changed for each other but they had. Maybe they were always more than just friends and they had just buried it because neither she nor John was ready to face the facts that they weren't just friends? Whatever the case may be, they were now very much aware of it and now they had to do something about it because they couldn't go on as they were. She couldn't look at John as just a friend anymore. Not after that explosive kiss, it had been full of yearning for something only she could give him.

John watched as she sat beside him, still clutching his hand tight in hers and looking thoughtful. He could watch her forever and never tire of it. But she glanced at him and smiled, catching him staring.

"Are you ready to move on from Jessica?" she asked.

John felt himself stiffen at the question. Intellectually he had known it was coming because of the tone of their conversation but he still wasn't prepared. He had held onto Jessica for so long that he wasn't sure he knew how to let go of her.

"Are you ready to move on from Cal?" he asked instead as a way to buy himself time to figure out the answer.

"Cal wasn't this grand love for me John. He was someone I cared for and I feel so damned guilty for his death."

He blinked in surprise. "Why do you feel guilty over his death?—HR had him murdered, not you."

"Because, John, I didn't believe in him. He went to go find out the truth and he was murdered because of it. He was just a pawn and I treated him like he was dirty, and he wasn't."

"You didn't know that at the time, Joss."

"I know, but it doesn't erase the guilt I feel," she said and he nodded understanding how guilt could eat away at you. "But you didn't answer my question, John: can you move on from Jessica?"

John looked her in the eyes and for the first time in a very long time the answer was crystal clear. "Yes."

"And you want to move on with me?" she prodded further.

He smiled, finding this one a very simple question and he answered easily: "Yes, I realized how much you came to mean to me one summer evening when I came over to your place to cheer you up after you got busted down to officer and you fell asleep against my side as we talked for hours into the night." he said trying to muster up the rest of his courage to finish. "You fell asleep against my shoulder so trusting and so warm…so damn womanly. I was caught between wanting to wake you up to kiss you and letting you sleep," he muttered.

"You let me sleep." she accused throatily, wishing he had awakened her.

"I did because I was scared of those feelings for you." he admitted.

"And now…?"

He laughed humorlessly. "I'm still scared of those feelings for you, Joss, I can't lose you."

Joss lifted his hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to it. "Never. You'll never lose me, John." she vowed running her thumb over the spot on his hand where she kissed it. "I can't promise you we'll always be happy but I can you promise you that you have me, no matter what."

John gave her a small genuine smile. "I'd like to kiss you again Joss," he whispered.

She returned the smile before saying, "You better!"

John sighed as her name as he leaned over and kissed her with his heart and soul.

* * *

AN: I know no smut but this was such a feel good place to end this story. Thank you guys for reading this little side project I conjured up XOXOX


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